Torn
by Lissa88
Summary: Catherine is happy to leave Chris behind. But something unexpected happens that’s making it too hard to forget... COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Torn**

**Summary:** Catherine is happy to leave Chris behind. But something unexpected happens that's making it too hard to forget...

**Rating:** PG-13

**Spoilers:** _Viva Las Vegas_

**Pairing:** GC, of course. This is me we're talking about.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it. After _Bodies in Motion_, oh how I wish I did.

**Chapter 1**

Catherine breezed into the Acid Drop and past the bouncers back towards the back room. After work she went home and changed into a sexy little black dress that now got her plenty of looks from the men in the club. She wore a slight smirk as she headed back to see her boyfriend. Her smirk was quickly gone when she saw Chris in between a dancer's legs as he kissed her and she giggled. He sensed Catherine's presence in the room and turned to look at her as she stared him in the eye waiting for him to say something. After a few moments of silence, Chris' words were the last thing Catherine expected. Not 'sorry', not 'Wait! I can explain!' but "What do you expect? I run a nightclub." She slightly shook her head and walked from the room disgusted. She quickly made an exit from the club and practically ran to her car. When she got in she slammed her fists against the steering wheel. She wouldn't cry, not for him. She knew this would happen and she knew they'd never last. After all, Chris was "addicted to sex." Catherine was just the flavor of the month. Chris was nothing to her and now it was time to leave her little sex buddy behind...

* * *

It was about a month since Catherine had caught Chris in the club. After that night, she hadn't really thought much about it and she moved on very quickly. However, today, she was finding it very hard to move on. She had to leave for work in 10 minutes, but she had to stop crying first. She was sitting in the bathroom staring intensely at the stick that had turned blue. She heard Lindsey knock on the door and call out quietly to her mom. "Lindsey what are you doing up this late?" she said, wiping her eyes and quickly disposing of the pregnancy kit.

"I have to go to the bathroom." She heard her daughter say in a sleepy voice. Catherine quickly cleaned herself up a bit to keep her daughter from knowing she was crying. She opened the door and let Lindsey pass as she yelled out a "Good-bye" to her and grabbed her purse and headed out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Catherine managed to compose herself long enough to drive to work and rush into her office. Then all hell broke loose. She began to sob the moment she shut her office door and she picked up a coffee mug and threw it against the wall in anger. "How can I be pregnant!" she said to herself. She heard a light knock at her door and quickly wiped her face in an attempt to stop crying. "Come in." she said in a raspy voice from sobbing. When Gil walked through the door, Catherine quickly took a seat in her desk chair and spun it around so she faced the wall and he couldn't see her red face.

"Hey, you missed assignments." he started. "You and I have a 419 on the Strip." When she didn't answer or turn her chair around Grissom was getting suspicious. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

"I'll meet you at the car in a few minutes." She replied, still not turning around.

"Catherine?" he asked. He walked around her desk to face her and was taken aback when he saw her puff, bloodshot eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked. Fresh tears began to form in her eyes. She took a deep breath before telling him.

"I'm pregnant." she whispered. Gil's eyes went wide with surprise as he tried to find his voice.

"Congratulations." he said, still in a state of shock.

"No! It's not a good thing!" she yelled. Grissom gave her a confused look and waited for her to explain. "I - I broke up with Chris about a month ago... I caught him cheating on me." She wiped her eyes and began to pace around her office. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Catherine, we'll figure this out. Right now, though, we have to go to work, okay?" he said softly and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Okay..." she whispered. He rubbed her arm and grabbed her kit for her before he placed his hand on her back and led her out of the office.

* * *

They arrived at the crime scene and Officer Lopez held up the crime tape for them as they passed under. They met up with David who was examining the badly beat up body. There was blood everywhere and massive cuts all over their victim. It was just a huge mess. Catherine took one look at the body and suddenly became very ill. She ran from the crime scene clasping her hand over her mouth to keep from throwing up right there and contaminating the scene. Grissom followed her to where she was emptying her stomach by some trash cans in the alley they were in. He rubbed her back as she heaved all over the ground. "Are you alright?" he asked after she finished vomiting. 

"Morning sickness I guess." she chuckled embarrassedly.

"Are you gonna be okay?" She looked back towards the body and shook her head as the nauseating feeling was working it's way back up from her stomach to her mouth.

"No." She answered.

"Okay." he said gently. "Lopez!" he yelled out for the cop who was a few yards away. The officer heard his name and came over to where Grissom and Catherine were.

"Yes sir?" the young man asked Gil.

"I need you to take Miss Willows back to the lab." he told him.

"Alright." he said confusedly but didn't question him. Catherine followed the officer away from the scene and mouthed a 'thank you' to Grissom.

"I'll see you soon, Cath." he said as she walked towards the police car.

* * *

Grissom walked into Catherine's office where he saw her resting her head against her desk. "Feeling better?" he asked. 

"No." She said, keeping her head on her desk. Grissom too a seat across from her. "This is like the hangover from hell."

"You went through this once before."

"First of all, that was 13 years ago. Second, it was _never_ this bad with Lindsey. And third, I've puked twice more since I left the crime scene, thank you very much." she retorted.

"So... are you keeping the baby?" he said after a few moments of silence. She sighed deeply before answering.

"Yes." she replied quietly.

"Are you gonna tell Chris?"

"No." She answered quickly.

"You sure about that?" He asked carefully.

"Positive." she responded, sounding very sure of herself.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had been a month since Catherine had found out she was pregnant and still the only one that knew was Gil. It couldn't go hidden too long though. Her odd actions were tipping the team off that something strange was going on...

"I'm telling ya, she hasn't been to an autopsy in weeks." Warrick said to Nick, Sara and Greg as they sat in the break room.

"Yeah, I haven't seen her leave the lab for cases too much either." Nick told them.

"The only cases she's even been on are with Grissom." Sara said.

"Yeah and all he's all she's basically spoken to as well." Greg agreed.

"So what's going on?" Nick asked.

"And why hasn't she told any of us?" Warrick said. There was a silence in the room as they all pondered the questions.

* * *

Catherine was sitting at her desk working on some paperwork when she heard a soft knock at her door. "Come in." she said as she kept focused on her papers. She looked up and her eyes went wide as she saw Chris standing in the doorway. She swallowed hard. 

"Hey Catherine," he said carefully as she glared at him.

"What do you want Chris?" she said, coldness lacing her tone.

"So, is it true? Are you pregnant?" he asked.

"Get out," She told him.

"Are you pregnant?" He repeated.

"That's none of your business, now get out!" She raised her voice to a quiet yell.

"It is too my business. You're pregnant with my kid."

"You don't know that."

"Then help me to know that!" he said. She sighed and stared evilly at him.

"I don't want you in my life, I don't want you in my baby's life."

"It's my baby too, whether you like it or not. I have just as much right."

"No, you don't. Get the hell out of my office!" She raised her voice another notch.

"Do you want me to take this to court, Cath? I'm not afraid to. If you don't let me see my child I can sue you for full custody."

"You wouldn't dare," she challenged him.

"I really don't want to... but I will if I have to. You really wanna go through that?"

"There's no way you could win against me," she continued to challenge.

"And you want to take that chance? Take the chance of losing the kid altogether?" She didn't reply. He stared at her in silence for a few moments before turning around and leaving her office without another word. Catherine followed his actions and headed for the evidence room where she found Gil.

"You told Chris," she said to him. He looked up, confused.

"What?" He asked.

"You told Chris I was pregnant you ass!" She shoved him with her words.

"Catherine..." He paused.

"Catherine what!" She yelled as he didn't continue.

"He had to know, okay! What if he found out years later? He could take you to court for not letting him see his kid. You don't really have a choice in this, Catherine!"

"I would never have to see him again! He'd never have to know I was pregnant or with his kid! Now that's all ruined because of you!" She pushed him once more into the wall before storming out so fast she didn't notice Sara and Nick standing in the hallway.

"Oh my God," Sara whispered.

"She's pregnant..." Nick said, shocked.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

7 months later

"You'll be okay." Gil said in the car as Catherine breathed heavily in the passengers'seat.

"I'm way too old for this!" She screamed as another contraction came on.

"Cath, you're only 41."

"I'm 42 and keep your eyes on the road!"

"Well, you keep howling like a dog! How am I supposed to focus on the road?"

"The faster you get me to the hospital, the faster the screaming will stop!" Gil pulled into the ER parking lot and went to help a very pregnant Catherine out of the car. They walked as quickly as a pregnant woman could waddle into the hospital and to the front desk. The nurse looked up and noticed Catherine's obvious labor pains.

"Excuse me, sir." she began. "You should take your wife up to the maternity ward."

"Well, we're already here! She's in labor, can't you just take her?" he yelled at the nurse.

"If you go just around the corner, there's an elevator. The maternity ward is on the 7th floor."

"Can we at least get a wheelchair?" he asked, frustrated. The nurse smiled slightly.

"Sure." She said, getting up from her position at the desk. She walked back into the long corridor and Catherine quickly became impatient.

"Could she _take_ any longer!" she yelled as she clutched her stomach and groaned in pain.

"Calm down." he told her. The nurse reemerged with a wheelchair and placed it in front of Catherine, then returned to her place at the desk. Catherine sat down in the chair and winced at her contractions. Gil wheeled her toward the elevator and entered as it arrived at their floor. He pressed the 7th floor button and they patiently waited for it to reach the floor. When it did, the stormed out of the elevator and toward the desk.

"May I help you?" the elderly nurse asked in a monolithic voice, not looking up from her paperwork.

"She's in labor." Gil stated, matter-of-factly.

"And your doctor is?"

"Leonard." Catherine groaned out. The nurse picked up the phone and quickly dialed in a few numbers, then hung up.

"She should be with you shortly." she told them and went back to her work. The young blonde doctor rounded the corner and saw Catherine in her wheelchair.

"Well, I guess it's time." She said as she approached Catherine. She took her wheelchair from Gil and began rolling back into the hallway. She stopped and turned to face Grissom suddenly. "Mr. Willows, are you coming in with her?" Catherine interrupted quickly.

"Oh, he's not my husband." she told the doctor.

"Okay, is he coming in anyway?" she asked.

"Uh, I think I'll sit this one out." he said uncomfortably.

"You aren't coming in?" Catherine asked. "You're going to leave me alone to have this kid?"

"Catherine, I don't want to go in..."

"Why not?" He sighed an annoyed sigh.

"Cause it's... gross!" he whined.

"You should like a six year old!" she yelled. "It's gross? This coming from you! Please go in, Gil."

"Please don't make me, Catherine. I'm begging you here."

"You don't have to look at anything. Just stand by me and let me use your hand like a stress ball."

"You'll break it..."

"You're going in." she said firmly. He sighed in defeat.

"Fine." he mumbled angrily.

"Okay," Dr. Leonard smiled, "Connie, could you please get him some scrubs and a mask?" she said to the nurse. She pulled out the clothing wrapped in plastic and handed it to Gil. "See you in there." the doctor said and smiled again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Catherine sat in her hospital bed, staring down at the infant in her arms and softly smiling. She heard footsteps approaching her door and looked up to see Gil walk through the door. He handed her a plastic cup filled with water and she took it with her free hand. "Thanks." she said, before downing the small cup in one gulp then placing it on the bed tray. Gil took a seat in the chair in the corner of the room and watched her admiring her new little girl.

"So, does she have a name yet?" he asked.

"What do you think of Kylie?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the baby.

"Kylie Willows... has a nice ring to it." he smiled. He walked over to her, rubbed his hand on the sleeping baby's little face and gave her the softest stare Catherine had ever seen. She smiled at him. He felt her gaze on him and looked up at her face. "What?" he said with a chuckle.

"Nothing, you just seem so... amazed with her." she laughed a little.

"Well, who could blame me? She's a beautiful little girl." They held each other's gazes until Gil broke the silence. "I'm going to go call your mom and the team, okay? Tell them how you're doing."

"Alright." She said, placing her eyes back on Kylie as Gil walked from the room. She swayed the baby gently for a few moments until she heard a soft knock at her hospital door. "Come in." she said. She looked up and her eyes went wide as she saw Chris standing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?" she said, raising her voice a little too loud and causing the baby to jump and start crying. Catherine hushed her and she went back to sleep within a few seconds.

"Good, she can keep you from yelling at me." he said to her.

"What do you want?" she asked again, firmly but kept her tone lower. He pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and held them out to Catherine. "I don't want the fucking flowers. Get the hell away from me." she said rudely, standing up and placing Kylie in her bed and facing Chris with a look that could kill.

"Cath, come on. Whether you like it or not, she's my kid too."

"Well, I can't do anything about that. But I can keep you away from her and away from me."

"I told you I'd take you to court over this and I still mean it."

"How did you know I had the baby?" she asked.

"I have my sources." he answered smugly.

"Grissom told you?" she said, anger boiling to the surface again at his sharing of information with Chris.

"No, I called your house yesterday and Lindsey told me you were at the hospital." He walked over to Kylie's bed and ran a finger softly along her cheek. "You did good. She's beautiful."

"Chris, what do you want? Why are you _really_ here?"

"Because even if you don't think so, I want to be a part of this kid's life. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I cheated on you. It was a stupid thing to do." She scoffed in response.

"Yeah, no kidding."

"But I think I deserve a second chance." he said, ignoring her comment. Her jaw dropped and she got ready to let loose on him.

"You deserve a second chance! Are you KIDDING me!"

"Catherine, I made a mistake okay?"

"And now you're just expecting not to pay for it? You expect me to act like nothing has happened?"

"Please, Catherine. Just let me back into your life. Let me into our baby's life."

"You don't have any right to be in my life."

"But I have a right to be in her life." He gestured to Kylie. She looked at the baby and her angry eyes turned into a hurt stare.

"Please, I'm begging you, Cath. I truly am sorry." Catherine slowly looked away from the baby and back at him. She sighed and shrugged.

"I guess I don't have a choice, do I?" she said. Chris' face lit up and he hugged Catherine tight. Her body stiffened and she rolled her eyes as Chris repeated 'thank you' over and over. She got annoyed very quickly and pushed him off her. He smiled at her, kissed her cheek before she could object and ran from the room. Catherine wiped her cheek in disgust and Gil walked into the room.

"Did I just see who I think I saw?" he said, pointing his thumb towards the door.

"Yeah." she said, crossing her arms and sitting down on her bed.

"Why was he here?"

"To convince me to let him see the baby."

"And you didn't give in, did you?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Well, I'm a real sucker... yes, I gave in."

"You are kidding right? You hate the man. You've done nothing but talk badly about him for 9 months, he cheated on you, he's a sleazeball and you're giving in?"

"Coming from the man who was defending him just a few months ago?" She replied.

"Well, I changed my mind okay! He has no right, he's an ass!"

"And _you _have a right to say these things? To determine who sees my child!" she yelled back.

"Who's stayed by your side throughout your whole pregnancy? Who took off this past month of work just to help you!"

"So you're playing the guilty card now!"

"I guess I am!" he screamed.

"Well, if I want to try and patch up this relationship for the good of my daughter, I think I have that right! And I never asked you for help, you offered it."

"And you never once said 'thank you.'" he retorted coldly. She stared at him cruelly before answering.

"My decision, not your's." He shook his head at her and stormed from the hospital room, leaving an angry Catherine and ascreaming Kylie behind.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Catherine picked at her plate as she sat across from Chris and Lindsey at the kitchen table. The tension could be cut with a knife from the looks she gave to Chris and then stared back down at her plate. "Come on, Cath, it's been a week. You have yet to say 2 words to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry for not finding you particularly trustworthy... or worthy for that matter." she responded.

"So I suppose there's no putting this behind us?"

"My apologies! I didn't know I was supposed to look the other way when someone cheats on me and act like everything's okay! I'll be sure to try that!" she replied sarcastically.

"Well, look at the time." Lindsey interrupted. "I have tons of homework, so if you'll excuse me." she said, practically running from the table and escaping. Catherine and Chris exchanged cold glares for a few moments before they heard Kylie's screams come through on the baby monitor.

"I'll get her." Chris said, standing up.

"No, I can handle it." She shrugged off his offer and rushed back to the nursery. He sighed and sat back down in his chair.

* * *

Catherine and Lindsey both had their arms full of brown grocery bags as they stood outside on the front porch to their home. Catherine struggled to get the door open and rushed into the kitchen, Lindsey following close behind, and set the bags on the kitchen counter. The two of them began to unload the grocery bags when they heard Chris arguing with someone. They looked curiously at each other, then walked towards the arguing and noticed it was coming from Kylie's room.

"I haven't even seen you in two years, I don't get a call, a letter, don't even know if you're alive! I finally found you thinking you'd be happy to see me and I find this!" a female voice screamed. Catherine peered around the corner to see the two people in the baby's room arguing.

"Karen -" Chris began, but the screaming woman cut him off.

"Your fucking child doesn't even know what you look like! You ran away the first chance you get! What's your problem Chris! You have a child and responsibilities at home and now you find a new child and new responsibilities!"

"Lindsey, go to your room." Catherine whispered outside the hallway. She did as her mother said, and then Catherine barged into the room.

"What the hell is this?" Catherine asked immediately to Chris.

"Catherine - " yet again he was cut off.

"I said, what the hell is this!" she repeated.

"I'm his WIFE!" she made sure to pronounce the word wife loud and clear.

"Your _what_!" Catherine screamed at him.

"Let me explain."

"I don't think there's much TO explain! You're married!" Karen yelled.

"Cath, we're separated."

"Uh, that was never legally resolved in court!" She screamed again.

"You're married." Catherine said softly and shook her head in disbelief at him.

"I don't wanna leave you and the baby." he told her. Catherine pursed her lips and stared at the ceiling, thinking for a moment.

"Well, I want you to leave me and the baby."

"Catherine -" Yet again, he was cut off.

"No, you leave with your little wife. Don't come near me again. Don't come near this baby again, you got that? If you ever, EVER try to sue me for custody, they'll never find your body! Get the fuck out of my house!" she screamed so loud, she could've broken the sound barrier. Chris nodded slowly.

"Okay." he replied in a whisper. He walked out of the room and Karen followed, but not before giving a dirty glare to Catherine; a glare Catherine was happy to return. Catherine waited until she heard the front door slam and then looked at Kylie. She was in her crib, staring amazed at the Winnie the Pooh mobile hanging above her crib and spinning as the theme song tinked in tiny little notes as it spun.

"Are you okay?" Catherine heard Lindsey and turned around to see her daughter staring in the doorway. She pondered her daughter's question and then shook her head.

"No... Keep an eye on the baby." She said and rushed out of the nursery, with Lindsey following.

"Where are you going?" Catherine didn't answer and grabbed her keys off the side table by the door. "Mom, where are you going?" she repeated, but her mother still didn't answer. She walked out the door quickly and slammed it shut without a word.

* * *

Catherine rang the doorbell to Gil's townhouse and paced outside while she waited for him to answer. The door opened and she stopped her pacing. "Catherine?" Gil asked, suprised to see her. He saw that her eyes were wet and bloodshot. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" he asked frantically.

"The baby's fine." She whispered. "But, uh... I'm not." He gestured for her to come inside and she kept her eyes on the ground as she walked in.

* * *

"He's married?" Gil asked, handing her a cup of coffee and taking a seat next to her on the couch. She slowly nodded and took a sip from the mug, finally calmed down.

"I broke my promise to myself."

"And what promise would that be?" he asked.

"I promised myself I wasn't going to cry over him."

"Well, you can't really promise yourself that, Cath. He did break your heart after all."

"No, he didn't. I mean, maybe the first time he got awfully close, but this time... this time he just made me feel like such an idiot. I should have just listened to you... I shouldn't have given in to him. I know better. And I know that I've been a horrible, horrible friend and that's why I'm here: to beg for forgiveness." She chuckled nervously. "I was way out of line. You have been just so terrific throughout my pregnancy - throughout our entire friendship. And I dump all your help down the toilet the moment a guy who hurt me bad offers his help. Not very good judgement huh?"

"I think we both said a lot of things we didn't mean. I didn't have the right to tell you what to do, I'm not the boss of you. After all, I am the one who told Chris you were pregnant in the first place."

"Let's just say we're both hopeless idiots and leave it at that."

"Alright, I'm game." He laughed. "Truce?" He asked.

"Truce." She agreed.

"Well, uh, Lindsey's diaper changing skills are less then perfect so I think I should get going." She said, setting down the coffee mug on the table and rising from her place on the couch. "So we're okay?" she asked him, putting on her jacket. He thought for a moment before responding.

"Answer me one thing and I think we will be."

"Alright." She replied, curious.

'Okay... how do I say this? Why is it that I helped you, I was there for you, I even went into the delivery room for you and Chris cheats on you, uses you, treated you like shit: Why did he get you and..." he hesitated. "I didn't?" he finished. Catherine's eyes went wide at his question/confession.

"Wh-What?" She asked.

"Why did he get you and I didn't?" he asked again uncomfortably. Catherine tried to find her voice.

I, uh, I didn't know you... wanted me." she shrugged. "Honestly, what's to want?"

"What's _not _to want?" he asked, getting bolder.

"Well, I think I should be able to get back to you by January with that long list of things." She smiled.

"There's two of the reasons."

"What's two of the reasons?" She asked confused.

"1: You're very funny. You always make me laugh, and 2: Your smile can light up a room. Cliche, I know, but it really can." She tried to control it, but she couldn't help smiling when he said this. Suddenly, Catherine's phone began to ring. She looked at it and saw it was Lindsey. She flipped it open.

"Yeah, honey?" She nodded and listened to what Lindsey was saying.

"Well, you know where the formula is... It says right on the container how to make it... Alright, alright, I'll be home in a few minutes." She said and hung up with her daughter. "She 'doesn't know how to feed the baby.' I swear, she's completely incompetent."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later."

"Hey, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow night? We can, you know, talk some more about this."

"I'd like that." he smiled. She turned around and began to open the door, then stopped.

"Oh, and Gil?" She said. She walked up to him, placed her hand on the nape of his neck and pulled him in for a very passionate kiss. She pulled back and smiled widely at him. "Oh, I have a feeling tomorrow's just going to be so much fun!" she said very perkily. She winked at him then sauntered out the door, leaving a stunned Gil behind.

The End


End file.
